<![CDATA[NEW ISMOD - All Writings]]>

<![CDATA[NEW ISMOD - All Writings]]>Tue, 10 Jan 2023 19:42:47 -0500Weebly<![CDATA[Not a Damsel in Distress (poem)]]>Wed, 08 Sep 2021 00:31:36 GMThttp://www.islaymyowndragons.com/all-writings/not-a-damsel-in-distressI will not stay asleep
nor be idle for a hundred years
I will not buckle to panic
when I feel the wolf is near

I will not sacrifice my voice or tail
nor be locked in some tower
I won’t have a simple shoe
be the source of all my power
I will not taste that apple
no matter how shiny or how red
I will not make my life’s mission
to find a prince to wed
I will not hide my face
under my crimson hood
when others try to tell me
I don’t look the way I should
I’ve chosen to be a warrior
to stand tall and to stand strong
to speak my truth unfiltered
to sing the tune of my own song
I will shine my light brilliantly
my strength I won’t suppress
for I am a heroine
not a damsel in distress

]]><![CDATA[Drink Me (poem, magick thieves)]]>Tue, 07 Sep 2021 23:49:50 GMThttp://www.islaymyowndragons.com/all-writings/drink-me"Drink me,"
the bottle says
"let me wrap you in my embrace
let me curl up in your veins

I’ll quiet the screaming emotions
in your head
I’ll make it better."
The bottle whispers,
"Don’t you want to smile again?"

"Drink me,"
the bottle pleads,
"we used to be the best of friends
and now you’re abandoning me?"

"Drink me!
Drink me!"
it demands
but I’ve grown weary of the lying
and wondered
what kind of life is one coated
in constant anesthesia?

"Drink me,"
the bottle says
and I decide not to be Alice
and to let the sink drain
taste this old “friend” instead

]]><![CDATA[Not Your Definition (poem, theresa's musings)]]>Tue, 07 Sep 2021 20:55:45 GMThttp://www.islaymyowndragons.com/all-writings/not-your-definitionI’ll never be
your definition of fun
I’m not one for parties
and I’m not someone

to drink a whole lot
then stay up past one
I absolutely hate dancing
(try to make me and I’ll run)
Not one for surfacey chats
with anywho or anyone
especially not fake friends
that call me “girl” or “hun”
who try to force me into molds
I purposely shun
cause they can’t understand
I’m not like everyone
my mind’s a strange place
I ooze oddness by the ton
if I told you all my thoughts
I’d positively stun
if you look for normal
with me, you’ll find none
I don’t fit in with you
my weirdness overrun
you try to make me you
work you’ve just begun
as you down your 6th drink
becoming more overdone
and you pull me on the dance floor
thinking that you’ve won
what you fail to realize
is you and I are done
cause I am me
and I’ll never be
your definition of fun

]]><![CDATA[Just because I delight in breaking you... (astro ode story)]]>Tue, 07 Sep 2021 15:54:28 GMThttp://www.islaymyowndragons.com/all-writings/just-because-i-delight-in-breaking-youHe wraps his arms around me and inhales my scent greedily, like I am fresh meat for him to consume. I try to push him away but it’s like trying to push a stalled bulldozer off the street with my bare hands.

“I don’t want you here,” I tell him bitterly. “Things are always fine until you show up.”

He pulls his black lips back to reveal his fanged smile. “Oh, but my dear you must. No one on earth makes it out without my love.”

“Love,” I scoff, “you don’t know the meaning of the word.”

“Just because I delight in breaking you doesn’t mean I don’t love you,” he whispers in my ear, so softly that I almost can’t hear him. “I break you because I love you.”

With those words I feel a blinding pain in my back as he stabs his dagger between my shoulder blades and pulls down swiftly.

“Not again,” I think, but can’t mutter the words the pain is so great.

“Shed, my love” he says to me. “Do it for me one more time.”

I begrudgedly lean against him for support as my back splits open and my skin slips forward, sliding off the bone like a too big dress. It lands with a “thwap” as I catch my breath and step backwards, away from him. I’m bloodied from head to toe with blood matted in my hair, covered in red like a newborn.

“There, now was that so bad?” he asks through his smile.

I grit my teeth and glare at him. I want to punch him but there’s no point. I would only break my wrist. Instead, I try to burn a hole in his face with my eyes to no avail.

“Come, let’s get you cleaned up.”

He offers me his hand and I accept. This isn’t the first time he’s done this, and I know what awaits me. I want to see what this new me looks like.

The walk down the corridor takes too long, but when we finally reach the mirror, I like what I see. My recent death did me a lot of good. Stale, swollen bits of stagnation, a handful of conditioned beliefs and behaviors, and old victim stories had come off with the exfoliated skin. I turned, admiring this new reflection of mine and noticed that the people pleasing tint I once had on my skin had faded significantly.

Yes, this new me would do. Until he decided to come back and murder her, too.

An ode to Pluto

]]><![CDATA[Defeating the Creature Known as Inner Critic (Infusible Magick Tale)]]>Tue, 07 Sep 2021 15:52:35 GMThttp://www.islaymyowndragons.com/all-writings/defeating-the-creature-known-as-inner-critic-infusible-magick-taleFeet pounding, heart racing, you run full speed ahead at the wall. As soon as you are close enough you use all of your strength to leap forward, right foot outstretched as you go flying forward. Your foot meets the stones and you immediately kick yourself off of the wall, flying backwards and hitting the creature right in its ugly head.

There was a satisfying “smack” as your foot meets with the flesh.

The creature is stunned but also relentless. With outstretched arms it comes at you again.

You duck and lunge forward, arms wrapping around the thing’s midsection as your force sends it flying backward.

It lands in the soft earth with a “thud” and stays down this time. You roll off of it and get up to look at it.

Man, was it ugly.

Its shriveled body looks a lot less powerful than it is. It reminds you of a dried-out root, pathetic yet unyielding in its grip. Beady black eyes look back at you as it snaps its sharp, crooked teeth at you. Its mouth was not pathetic-looking at all. Taking it up ¾ of the thing’s face and with teeth like butcher’s knives, you take a small leap backwards to keep clear of those teeth.

The short figure springs up and at you, still gnashing its teeth in your direction. You kick, but this time no matter how you fight back, the thing isn’t fazed.

You throw a punch, but the thing grabs your hand and squeezes your fist with its large dewy palm. Its claws dig into the back of your hand, and you struggle not to yell out in pain.

Pulling your hand free, you realize that fighting this thing was never in your best interest. You’d never win this way. This creature, after all, could not be defeated. No matter how much you hated to admit it, it was a part of you and could never truly be destroyed.

You take your hand back and stand there, completely still. You take a deep breath and close your eyes. This better work.
You hear its footsteps as it runs towards you full speed. One, two, three, and then, quiet. The thing stops. You take a breath of relied, open your eyes, and regard the creature. It stands in front of you like an animal, curiously staring at you as it ponders this new battle strategy of yours. It moves its mouth again, but this time in a grotesque smirk.

You smile back and say, “I’m not afraid of you.”

The thing continues to look on at you in curiosity.

“I’m done fighting,” you breath. “You are a part of me. This, I cannot change. But I’ve already begun to defeat you. Once you were a giant, and now you are nothing more than a persistent troll of annoyance, and I refuse to allow you to even be that big.”

The curiosity in the thing’s eyes began to shift from wonder to fear as you open your mouth to work your magick.

You laugh at the fear on its face and began to recite powerful words,

“I am strong enough.
I am good enough.
No, I am more than good enough!
I am talented and I am skilled.
I am smart.
I am GREAT at what I do!
I love myself and I alone determine my worth.
I decide that I am worth it.
I am worth EVERYTHING!
I will not let you reduce me!
I am stronger than you!
I will move forward despite your efforts!”

As you say these words the creature begins to
shrink
and shrink
and shrink
until it is no more than a couple of inches tall. It yells out nasty lying things to you, but its voice is now too small to be heard. You are no longer listening, anyway.

You smile at your victory and pick the thing up from the back of its neck like a kitten. You put it up to your face and say, “boo”. The thing cowers.

You laugh and drop it into a jar, closing the lid tight. You slide the jar into your bag as you know that even if you tried to leave this thing on the side of the road, it would end up in your bag anyway. After all, this thing is a part of you and something to be checked on regularly, to keep it small. Keeping it close was smarter, for if you so much as heard one filthy lying word from the creature, you’d let it know who was in charge right away. If not, it might get big enough to break out of its jar and wreak havoc on your plans, your confidence, and your life.

And you, well, you would never let that happen again.

]]><![CDATA[You Got This (love letter)]]>Tue, 07 Sep 2021 04:00:00 GMThttp://www.islaymyowndragons.com/all-writings/you-got-thisMy dear,

Making it through these woods is not easy. It is not a task for the faint of heart or for the weak. Lucky for you, you are neither.

Will there be wolves? Of course. They’ll snap their gruesome teeth at you, drool dripping down their long, sharp teeth. They’ll try to pin you to the ground. They’ll try to overwhelm you. Overcome you.

I’m seasoned in these woods and even I am knocked down by a wolf once in a while. It’s important to remember, that even if they succeed, they won’t for long. It’s all temporary. You’re much too strong for them. Even if you lie on your back, pinned against the dirt and dead leaves, wolf after wolf pushing you down, trying to bite you – trying to leave you paralyzed and crippled – breathing their vulgar rotten meat breath in your face……..

You’ll look inside of yourself. You’ll see that light that shines in your core. That’s your willpower. Will it into your limbs, your head, your heart. That’s all you have to do. With the glowing power of will pulsing through your limbs, you’ll kick and the wolf that was about to bite your face off will go flying. He’ll knock over his buddies that were thinking they wanted to pounce on you, too, until they all get knocked down like mere bowling pins.

You’ll stand up and straighten your hood, pick up your basket, and be on your way again.

Remember your strengths as you continue. Remember that you are fearless. Remember that you are resilient. Remember that you and I are cut from the same cloth – the one that burns red with ferocity and determination and courage. Remember that you radiate relentlessness. And remember that nothing, and I mean nothing, can keep you from reaching your destination.

Sometimes it will feel like you have too long a way ahead of you. Sometimes you’ll look ahead and the woods will be dark and deep, filled with perceived impending disasters. Sometimes you will have a long path to follow and I know, fending off the wolves can be tiresome. But what’s the alternative?

The way I see it, you can do one of two things…

You can let your weariness seep into your bones, allow it drag you down, and lie down in the dirt for the wolves to devour you.

Or

You can turn around and take a look at how far you’ve come. It doesn’t matter if it’s only been two steps. That is remarkable. Take a look at the progress you’ve made and then face forward again and take another step. Allow that light inside of you to shine out show strongly that it works like a laser beam and wolves are decimated when they even attempt to look at you.

You’ll shine so brightly – radiate strength and will so powerfully that the wolves won’t dare cross you. They’ll know better. Even the most courageous will cower in fear when you give them the “don’t you dare mess with me right now” look.

Keep your eyes on your destination. Keep your eyes on Grandma’s house. Don’t waiver your stare. This will keep you from getting lost. This will keep you moving forward, step by step until you smell that sweet scent of success (and maybe some home baked cookies) awaiting you at her door.

Keep going. You got this.

With love and flame red fierceness,

Red Riding Hood

]]><![CDATA[Seedlings (phoenix poem)]]>Tue, 07 Sep 2021 01:31:29 GMThttp://www.islaymyowndragons.com/all-writings/untitled-poem“Here,”
I said
my child palms showing you
the things I loved
the things that shook my heart more alive

you smacked my hands
my cherished things falling into dirt
“No!” you screamed in my face
“Not allowed
Not allowed
Not allowed”
to love these things means
you are wicked

so I put them away
I hid them
for years
my greatest crime
that I forgot them

but they didn’t forget me
they stirred like seeds in soil
on a warm spring day

so when I evicted you from my heart
and made space for loved things to grow
when your winter cold left my bones
they could feel the sun again

when I saw their leaves
I knew
I would never allow your frost to destroy them
ever again

]]><![CDATA[You Said This Was Love (matters of the heart poem)]]>Tue, 07 Sep 2021 00:01:00 GMThttp://www.islaymyowndragons.com/all-writings/you-said-this-was-love-poem"Open your coat,"
you whisper to me

automatically my arm extends
exposing the inner lining of
trench coat

my love
dignity
and trust
pinned inside
like I am some shifty salesperson
making a back ally deal
offering pieces of me
I never intended to relinquish
into your careless filthy hands

You want everything
and then some
and do nothing to afford it
a greedy feast
in a fool’s mouth
loving the adoration
that bubbles up from my veins
and makes you feel like a god

you take everything
I have

everything I am

all the while
ignoring
the blood
pooling at my feet
and telling me this was love

]]>