Defeating the Creature Known as Inner Critic (Infusible Magick Tale)

Feet pounding, heart racing, you run full speed ahead at the wall. As soon as you are close enough you use all of your strength to leap forward, right foot outstretched as you go flying forward. Your foot meets the stones and you immediately kick yourself off of the wall, flying backwards and hitting the creature right in its ugly head.

There was a satisfying “smack” as your foot meets with the flesh.

The creature is stunned but also relentless. With outstretched arms it comes at you again.

You duck and lunge forward, arms wrapping around the thing’s midsection as your force sends it flying backward.

It lands in the soft earth with a “thud” and stays down this time. You roll off of it and get up to look at it.

Man, was it ugly.

Its shriveled body looks a lot less powerful than it is. It reminds you of a dried-out root, pathetic yet unyielding in its grip. Beady black eyes look back at you as it snaps its sharp, crooked teeth at you. Its mouth was not pathetic-looking at all. Taking it up ¾ of the thing’s face and with teeth like butcher’s knives, you take a small leap backwards to keep clear of those teeth.

The short figure springs up and at you, still gnashing its teeth in your direction. You kick, but this time no matter how you fight back, the thing isn’t fazed.

You throw a punch, but the thing grabs your hand and squeezes your fist with its large dewy palm. Its claws dig into the back of your hand, and you struggle not to yell out in pain.

Pulling your hand free, you realize that fighting this thing was never in your best interest. You’d never win this way. This creature, after all, could not be defeated. No matter how much you hated to admit it, it was a part of you and could never truly be destroyed.

You take your hand back and stand there, completely still. You take a deep breath and close your eyes. This better work.
You hear its footsteps as it runs towards you full speed. One, two, three, and then, quiet. The thing stops. You take a breath of relied, open your eyes, and regard the creature. It stands in front of you like an animal, curiously staring at you as it ponders this new battle strategy of yours.  It moves its mouth again, but this time in a grotesque smirk.

You smile back and say, “I’m not afraid of you.”

The thing continues to look on at you in curiosity.

“I’m done fighting,” you breath. “You are a part of me. This, I cannot change. But I’ve already begun to defeat you. Once you were a giant, and now you are nothing more than a persistent troll of annoyance, and I refuse to allow you to even be that big.”

The curiosity in the thing’s eyes began to shift from wonder to fear as you open your mouth to work your magick.

You laugh at the fear on its face and began to recite powerful words,

“I am strong enough.
I am good enough.
No, I am more than good enough!
I am talented and I am skilled.
I am smart.
I am GREAT at what I do!
I love myself and I alone determine my worth.
I decide that I am worth it.
I am worth EVERYTHING!
I will not let you reduce me!
I am stronger than you!
I will move forward despite your efforts!”

As you say these words the creature begins to
shrink
and shrink
and shrink
until it is no more than a couple of inches tall. It yells out nasty lying things to you, but its voice is now too small to be heard. You are no longer listening, anyway.

You smile at your victory and pick the thing up from the back of its neck like a kitten. You put it up to your face and say, “boo”. The thing cowers.

You laugh and drop it into a jar, closing the lid tight. You slide the jar into your bag as you know that even if you tried to leave this thing on the side of the road, it would end up in your bag anyway. After all, this thing is a part of you and something to be checked on regularly, to keep it small. Keeping it close was smarter, for if you so much as heard one filthy lying word from the creature, you’d let it know who was in charge right away. If not, it might get big enough to break out of its jar and wreak havoc on your plans, your confidence, and your life.

And you, well, you would never let that happen again.

© Theresa Blackwood, 2021. No part of this site, www.theresablackwood.com, may be reproduced in whole or in part in any manner without the permission of the copyright owner.